Doc Harper's Clinic Loses Medical License; Billings To Lose Only Medical Martini Provider

Doctor Harper, standing outside his former medical martini clinic

Doctor Harper, standing outside his former medical martini clinic

On Saturday, Doc Harper’s in a press release made public the loss of all medical licensing for their downtown clinic.

“We’re shaken to say the least,” said Billings Clinic Interim Co-CEO Robert Merchant. “Harper’s was the only referral we had to provide patients with the highest quality medical martini supplements, and now the patients of Billings don’t have anywhere within 100 miles. This effectively puts Billings at risk of becoming a martini desert, a little too dry if you ask me.”

Doc Harper had been pushing for state legislation surrounding medical martini provision since the early 1980’s after he saw the health benefits firsthand while practicing overseas. Though martinis are not yet federally protected or recognized by the USDA for medical use, practitioners often prescribe them for chronic pain, anxiety, depression, general discomfort, social discomfort, and general boredom at home.

Micah Donahue, a former provider assistant at Harper’s, told the Beet, “I think Billings is really going to feel this one. His loss of license means that he won’t be able to provide within Billings city limits. People have been getting their medication here for years, and now there’s just nowhere to go. But it’s also part of the bigger problem too. I think we’ll have to federally protect medical martinis to really fix the situation its in.”