Study: 80% of Billings Residents Still Unsure How to Pronounce Ebon

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After three years of being open for business, Ebon Coffee Collective remains a phonetical mystery to the majority of Billings.

The study, conducted by Rocky Mountain College, was able to survey every registered Billings citizen, and conclusively found that only 20% of Billings can successfully pronounce “Ebon” on the first try. Head English Scientist Dr. Stephen Germic explained how their methodology led to such reliable findings: “We polled everyone with two questions - “1) You know that coffee shop that used to do that mason jar thing? 2) What’s it called again?” Our participants consistently reported they knew the answer to question #1, but the results of #2 were a little more diverse. We got a lot of people suggesting eee-bonn, eee-bone, and ahh-been as possible interpretations. We even got one person who thought it was The Coffee Tavern, which was just remarkable.”

Owners Lenny and Jaxi Howes told the Beet, “When we first got started, we knew we wanted a single poetic word that is obscure enough to evoke a certain boujeeness, but also makes your everyday hipster feel right at home. When we learned we could just drop the Y from “ebony,” we knew we had found it.”

According to secondary findings analyzing the data, participants also could not consistently distinguish between a traditional Starbucks caramel macchiato and a conventional caramel/vanilla latte.