City of Billings Presses Charges Against Billings Gazette for Littering on 1000’s of Private Doorsteps

The clash of two publicly funded giants

The clash of two publicly funded giants

On Thursday, Billings City Hall filed paperwork charging the Billings Gazette with thousands of counts of littering on the doorsteps of unsuspecting residents.

Police Chief Rich St. John said in a press conference, “We’ve finally reached the conclusion of our investigation that has been taking months behind the scenes. We’ve been putting our best officers on this, gathering evidence of this serial litterer, which we have now identified as the Billings Gazette.” 

The Billings Police Department reportedly devoted over ten thousand hours of manpower over the course of this 3 month long investigation. Early yesterday morning, a BPD SWAT team stormed the building that was identified as being the main headquarters for producing the bulk of the trash that was used to plague innocent citizens of Billings. Estimates from the BPD estimate that this case possibly affected around 50% of Billings residents.

One private homeowner, who wished to remain anonymous for fear of pushback from the press, reported “It’s awful feeling terrified on your own front porch because someone is repeatedly leaving garbage for you to find. Like, are these people out to get me? What do they want? I think I’m among a lot of people who want those answers.”