Zimmerman Trail Undergoing Gender Reassignment Construction; To Become Zimmerwoman

A preoperational Zimmer“man”

A preoperational Zimmer“man”

On Thursday, Billings city planners announced that Zimmerman Trail is going through a gender transition.

“Up until now, we’ve framed the project as mainly focusing on highway updates and repairs,” said a spokesperson for the city office. “We want to take the step to be fully transparent with what we’re doing here. We’re really excited about what the Trail is going to become.”

Zimmerman Trail will be the first individual road in Montana to undergo gender reassignment construction. A foreman for the project noted that this construction only includes mild cosmetic alterations, and that the basic anatomy of the trail will remain the same. “We want Billings residents to be reassured that this will be the same road they know and love. We’re just redefining it.”

According to project documents, the Montana Dept. of Transportation briefly petitioned to have it renamed Transportation Trail for its gender neutrality (which would have been shortened to Trans. Trail for short). Billings Mayor Bill Cole said in an interview that “it’s about time Billings finally had a Zimmerwoman. I think we’re ready. We’re making history.”