Trump Endorses Gianforte Quitting Congress For WWE

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On Thursday, at a campaign rally in Missoula, President Donald Trump officially endorsed the end of Gianforte’s congressional campaign and the beginning of Gianforte’s wrestling career with WWE.

“Any guy who can body slam is my kind of guy,” Trump said to the crowd. “We endorsed Greg very early, but I had heard that he body-slammed a reporter. Then I said, well, wait a minute, I know Montana pretty well. I think it might help him. And it did! This is why we’re excited to make him the first WWE athlete endorsed by a White House administration.”

The remainder of Gianforte’s campaign will become wrestling demonstrations at local high schools to show students how to properly wrestle with members of the press. Greg will particularly be displaying his signature moves: The Phone Grab, The Wrist Twist, and his classic The Body Slam. During demos, Gianforte has told students “These moves will definitely be more effective if you also shout ‘I’m sick and tired of this’ and ‘Get the hell out of here.’ The media just crumbles when they hear that.”

Gianforte’s campaign/management team released an official statement: “Gianforte has a history of attacking people, and this reflects our wrestling values. When we saw how quickly he could take down Guardian reporter Ben Jacobs, we knew we had to sign him up professionally.”

At the rally, Trump seemed confident in Gianforte’s ability to take down opponents in the ring. “Never wrestle him. You understand? He will take you down Montana-style.”